At the Studiooo!!!

Soo Today I am at the studio and am loving it. I just took some phonecalls for a listener contest. Then i headed over to trafficing to place some advertisments. Then I learned a little more about the soundboard. Hung out, did some random errands for menace, ate a sammich, and left. Then i sat in traffic for about 1 1/2 hours until i GOT ON THE BRIDGE!!! yuck.

I love this job, not the traffic.

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Thursday in the studio.

I madeth banana pudding with banana slices and crumbled cookie cumbs. Milk. Pizza. Red Bull. Morning. Stomach ache.

Menace went to Asia SF (tranny restaurant) last night for a dinner with a client. Texted Woody. That place is awesome. There was this one tranny that looked better than Whitney Houston last time I went like 5 years ago. Hawt."Eating out isn't fun anymore," Ravey.

Are lower calorie menus in the works? People are freaking because the menus they are ordering food off of are announcing the dish's caloric value. Much to diners' surprise, even the salads are pretty out of control. People don't want to see this kind of information because they become uninterested in ingesting high calorie foods.

Andy Dick, lookin' like Sideshow Bob or, to Ravey, Satan. I like this guy. He makes me laugh, but... Others enjoy to disagree with me.Oooo. The show touches on Sarah and Menace. Is this part going to be deleted??

Emails!>You're right. This is not NPR.
>We get a listener's approval to keep raggin' on Menace. Thanks, Anita.
>Hate on T-man's voice and Love for Ravey's ADORABLE laugh. Yes. Thank you 408!

Pointless Listener Poll - Audience: do you consider yourself to be Liberal, Moderate, Conservative?46% Moderate30% Liberal22% Conservative

News & Sports:
>CIA agent Valerie Plame.
>CSI - Red Lobster employee kills himself in the New Mexico desert in attempts to make it look like a murder.
>Dallas pizza worker was shocked to see her father rob the pizza parlor she was working at. A fellow employee knocked of his disguise and she yelled, "Stop, that's my father." He ran into a pickup truck where her mother and husband were waiting... What the hell. These people.
>Gay Marriage Conversation. I miss it cuz phones are off the hook.
>The Homeless in SF... hm. Mischief and trickery.
>Top 5 Cars Bad Drivers Own, according to AutoTrader readers. Porche. BMW. Subaru on the list!
>That guy found his shipping receipt for the HGH that he provided to key players in the steriod controversy.
>Bloods vs Cripps: Gang signals on the field are a serious offense in Football.
>Farvre still in football news.

DumbAss Contest (1 winner)Tony Danza Theatre - Anchorman quoteWinner won: AMA Monster Supercross Motorcross Criss CrossWow. 'Sucked out' by Superdrag. Who did suck out the feeling? I LOVE THE 90's. F yeah.Ha!

Segways into The Great Abortion Story:Angela Simmons - middle class mother fussing over her 7 yo son, Ben. 39 year old former real estate agent has kept a secret. She's had an abortion. She was 21 years old. Was accidentally pregnant, used condoms and took birth control. It wasn't in the cards. After the operation. She felt better. Second abortion 4 years later with a dude named Simon. She discovered she was pregnant after he left the country. AGAIN - abortion time. As soon as it was over, she felt relief again. W/i the year she was pregnant again. Super fertile lady. Third abortion. this is fun. She and David broke up. She attempted to move on, started working at a gym. Numero Quatro. Patrick was thrilled to learn that she was pregnant. She aborted it anyway, and he stuck by her. Three years later, she became pregnant accidentally AGAIN. Her instinct was to have another abortion. She felt incredibly guilty. The baby was born premature. Pregnant again. Accidentally pregnant. "I couldn't believe it." She had a fifth abortion. She meets Paul and gets pregnant again. And low and behold. She has a sixth abortion. A year later she became pregnant again. She aborted for a seventh time. A large percentage of women in the UK have abortions on average about 7 times. Okay there are people out there with 12 and 15 abortions under their belt. But... still. More than 5 is a little ... outrageous?

Movie: Citizen Ruth - Ruth is the town slut and drug addict.

Music & Entertainment:
>Emmy's best comedy series nominees: 3rd rock, curb your enthusiasm, entourage, weeds, and something else.
>Wild International - Rage music... Keyboar replaced Guitar.>Nintendo - new gaming experience. Wii Music.
>Amy Poehler is up for the lead of the ABC Office Spinoff. Written by Greg Daniels. The blonde chick from SNL in Tenacious D's Pick of Destiny. I could pinch her cheeks.
>Poison picks on Def Leopard. Former metal bands spitting fire. Burn!Robin Williams plays a dad that finds his son dead after an autoerotic masturbation accident. So he writes a suicide note in an effort to give his child dignity in death.UK Maxim magazine. July issue - how an Indian dude can land a "gory" a light skinned woman.*A good ice breaker is to tell a suicide bomber joke.*Don't ask an Italian woman if her family is in the mafia.*Most american woman are angry at Indian people for stealing all their jobs.One in three teen girls ________. Will have already been pregnant.Teen pregnancies have gone up for the first time since 1991.

Sexy Time Fun Facts! Penis enlargement pants on E-Bay! Okay. Greg wants.9 women are being charged with prostitution for an oral sex competition. Tony points out that it sounds like a lot of bad teeth and wild pubic hair.

Walk of Shame Stories:
Halloween in Santa Barbara - lost her costume. Didn't have a place to stay. Left the party in next to nothing.
Mom's weekend in college. His roommate brings a chick home that night and instead doing the deed inside, they go at it in the back yard. The chick ends up sneaking thru the backyard where the mom's are preparing breakfast and preparing to eat with their college boys. Oops.
2 girls at his Halloween party end up in the bathroom. Puked on themselves and bleeding. Next morning he hands them some T-shirts and sends them on their way.
At 19 he hooked up w/ his English teacher from HS. He had to drop her off at his old HS the next morning cuz she left her car at the bar.
Rachel - OMG. She went to Rome. The end.
Musician walks home at 7 in the morning w/ a 120 lb amp thru North Beach.
Wedding - best man hooked up w/ brides maid. She walked of shamed down to her bedroom and her parents were right next door. When the elevator door opened on her floor, her dad was waiting outside.
Someone brought a girl over to this his place. She passed out on the sofa and the guy stole her clothes at 6 in the morning.

Crap on Celebrities:
>Andy Dick made the news. Drugs and sex stuff. I missed it but linked the story in like paragraph 2 of today's blog.
>Sarah Jessica Parker is having her mole removed.
Crappy Birthdays:~ Will Farrell - David Hassle - Art Linkletter - Carrie (Pink's ex) - Alex Winter - Mark Burnett ~
Grade Today's Show: 70.6% AToday's Just the Headline: "Deaf woman's shouting match ends in arrest."

Thats it for todays showww!!! Well be back here next wednesday!!

Lets Try This Again!!!

So because this wasn't working before I tried it again.

I am currently an intern for LIVE 105 on The Woody Show and for general work around in the afternoon.

This last week on the Woody Show.

Wednesday:
letttsss see.

Violence Wins!

>Puppy death? Someone attacked a person for being violent towards a poor puppy. This topic spins out of control for a few minutes, however, I'm paying little attention and miss information somehow... Boo.

>Some chick stabbed a pregnant woman and cut out the fetus/baby to claim it as her own. WHAT? Who the hell does this?

Sluts Next...

>One of the two female B52's singers turned 60 this year. Kate Pierson. Nude photos online.

>Laura Logan - pregnant by a married Joseph Burkett. Laura was going thru a divorce from someone else. Turns out she basically banged her way to the top. She's South African American. Is that how woman have to do it? Rachel Ray allegedly banged her way to the top? *sigh*

Reno 911 & contest winner, Beau of San Mateo calls in to inform us of the episode he's in: Episode 67. He's spotted about 15 minutes in. The show is doing dialogue and he's in the background...

News & Sports:

>Federal Reserve: protecting home lenders from risky subprime borrowers who pay off loans early. This sounds complicated. I will probably understand it and get upset about this when I actually prepare to buy a home.

>NASA - preparing for the final 10 space shuttles. They are retiring the program in 2010.

>Smitty's in Canada. They apologized for kicking out a family because of their autistic daughter's reaction to their menu not offering her favorite meal.

>A flight MIA - NY never got off the ground. The crew was an hour late. Passengers boo'd them. Naturally it was American Airlines. The passengers threatened the crew and used "harsh language." Therefore the flight was so intimidated that they refused to take off. This is a little ridiculous. Who A) shows up an hour late to their flight job and B) doesn't fly a scheduled flight that passengers paid for?

>Fatally stabbed his roommate over a heated argument regarding Foot Odor. Clever.

*Dry your feet thoroughly. Wear shoes from natural material. Use powder. Wear socks and there is a absorbant foot pad you can use. There's a Goldbond spray on deoderant. I'll but it!

*Daily flossing. 2 annual dental visits. Get your teeth whitened, it helps keep stink breath away!

*Deoderant and Antiperspirant! Menace uses women deoderant. While I use man deoderant. This show is so confused.

>Trading trading trading... Lots of baseball trades!

>Davis left Warriors for the Clippers. Signed a 5 year $82 million contract.

>Michael Vic has filed for bankruptcy protection. Amazing. This fool made millions and millions of dollars. Involved with dog fights/attacks. Whatever. AND STILL winds up filing for bankruptcy.

(XTREEEEEM) DumbAss Contest (2 winners)

Foot-in-mouth contest (can you say, "pigs feet?"). Tony, Greg, and Menace race to eat as many pigs' feet in 2 minutes. Callers pick a winner. Menace's gag reflex goes off. Ravey films it. These feet are stored in vinegar. I would consider pigs feet to be garbage. Smells like they're dying Easter Eggs in the studio. Looks like what they suck out during a liposuction. May the puking begin. I'm so not hungry any more. Greg ACTUALLY ATE ONE. Menace couldn't get it down.

Winners won: Top Spin 3 for the Xbox and PS3 - yay!

Excellent! I Also man'd up and also joins in the piggy fest and scores $50 after choking down a pig's foot. *GAG*

Music & Entertainment:

>Metallica 3 seperate versions of their album.

>Madden 09 in stores Aug 12.

>Franz Ferdinand something.

>Guns and Roses something.

>Chris Martin asks that you get off his back about his kids' names.

Woody cleans out his desk with tidbit information that never got air time and serious attention from the show. Let's refer to this material as "the stack." And we'll refer to it as the Bottom of the Stack. We need to add some flare to this to make it a little more pizzazy...

Jot.com - a concept for people to be able to take notes when they are pen and paperless.

Walgreens is coming out with a nicotine enhanced hand gel. Nicogel!

Scientists in Singapore discover that spiders get kinky under UV lighting. Spidies like raves. Yay.

Today's Guest is Mr. Ralphie May

Check him out! He's at the San Jose Improv for several nights!
July 10 - Thurs 8pm
July 11 - Fri 8pm & 10pm
July 12 - Sat 7pm & 9pm & 11pm

July 13 - Sun 7pm

I missed the sex lead-in to this segment :( Has foot problem. He takes vicodin for it. Apparently he's a rockstar on that particular pain killer. His wife is near-nympho status. She wasn't too into getting freaky while she was pregnant, but apparently she's back to her normal kink status.

Stories for Chicks

>Medical Spa in Manhattan - dedicated to strengthening and grooming vaginas. "PHIT" has their clients basically clench their VJ muscles and do kegels around their doctor's finger. Really? I do this on my own, on my own time. I don't need to pay someone $300 a session to be told that I'm nice and "phit." Suck it.

>Pregnant woman from the Bronx - the doctor exposed her genitals to the entire WAITING ROOM. OMG I'd die. According to Woody Math - that's a lot of traumatic imagery and experiences.

>Women who marry uglier men have healthier marriages. I think we established this...

Got Game with Steve Masters. Me love nerdies long time!

Kewl new games. There are more neat songs on one of the ones that you can play music on. RockBand? Guitar Hero? They ... aren't the same thing? Who has BOTH? I'm curious... You probably have a PS3, an XBOX 360, AND the Wii. Like Ravels.

Menace HATES RockBand and Guitar Hero. As do I; I don't like it in theory because it promotes air guitar nerdom. I like nerds, but air guitar is the DEVIL. Do NOT take me on a date and tell me your hobby includes simulating being a rockstar. You're not. Even if you can PLAY real guitar, don't sing me songs acapella. I'll stab you. Stoppit.

PSP is cool because it plays movies. YES! This gadget it HOT. And, girls (softies) I love LocoRoco [image above]. It's THE cutest game in the world. Check out Patepan.

"Skate" is hard. It's more realistic. The next version is going to be called "Skate It." Stevie will have more info after E3 in Los Angeles.

OMG IT SMELLS LIKE VINEGAR IN HERE CUZ TONY PUT THEIR TRASH IN HERE AND TOOK MY SCENTLESS GARBAGE OUT. Thanks, F'er.

I like eating contests. They look like fun. I'd never enter one, but I'd like to see one live. Go Kobayashi. He's a cutie pie. Everything is so CUTE today!

Grade Today's Show: 71.2% A [I grade today an A+ for the gag reflex action.]

Just the Headline: "Illegal wire tapping found illegal."
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I also came back into the studio for another 4 FUN FILLED hours working for Spud-a-licious. Got the mail, organized some ads, typed up some band Bios, talked to Madden, worked with Menace and Marc. It was a great day, 12 hours at the one and only LIVE 105

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And if that wasn't interesting enough, here's Thursday....
this show is a little off the wall. :) (Just FYI Thursday is "Sexy Time Fun Facts" Day, hence the sex talk)

I was recruited to babysit Baby Dean. Father, Tony Mott, offers me video games, beer, and CANDY! Hooray! Oh, the 'specifications.' Tony was considering paying me $100. Who speaks pervert? He does: "Maybe she'll breast feed him." I tried to defend him, but with that comment, it was done.

What's worse?

You're stranded suspended in a Sky Ride arial cable car.

During a lightening storm.

And, it's suspended over the Bronx Zoo's Lion Den.

Stories of Rape with a Silver Lining...

*British rapist received a life sentence for raping a woman. He purchased a lotto ticket while under supervision during his prison sentence. He was released after 10 years of serving. The victim is suing him for a portion of his lotto winnings.

*Tufts Univ - someone raped a girl. Aw, I missed it.

News & Sports:

>Government eaves dropping - civil act legislation regarding social surveilance.

>Jesse Jackson thought his mic was off at one point, talks smack about Barack Obama. "I wanna cut his nuts off." Who doesn't want to cut someone else's nuts off?

>CA railway authority is working to propose a high speed rail train that would connect Sacramento to the BAY to LA. Much like ... the Jetsons.

>CHP - 7 days how many tickets have been given for driving on the cell phone. 1,000 tickets.

>The Ramsey family gets cleared. Patsy died of cancer in 2006. Anyway, there's new evidence in the family's favor that they are not resposible for the death of creepy pageant baby, JonBenet... Her life was kind of cursed from the getgo.

>A's fell apart to the Mariners. 6-4

>Giants took on the Mets. Lost 5-0

>5th win of the season... uh?

>Warriors have a signed offer sheet for the Laker's somebody someone.

>LV police arrested a second suspect for kidnapping, robbery, and conspiracy against Walker.

>Forbes: by 2010 Tiger Woods will be the first person to earn $1 billion by playing a single sport. (Happens to be golf. See, something I know!)

CaCa Story:
Taiwan: there is a Modern Toilet restaurant where you can eat food out of little toilet shaped bowls, sit on closed toilets, and eat poo shaped and colored foods. Hmmmm.

Who freakin' cares?

*Australia (?) A man imprisoned a 16 year old sex slave in an underground shack for 19 hours and raped him is suing police for mistreatment. He claims that he was victimized because during his stay in prison guards asked other inmates to spit in his food and when he asked for a drink of water he was told to drink out of the toilet. Boohoo.

DumbAss Contest (5 winners)

Will Ravey's nose know it? Stinky stinky shoes.

Winner won: Hellboy II & Topspin for Xbox 360 & Wii

Airplane & Airlines news - Why $4 a gallon of gas isn't so bad.

I miss the first and better portion of this segment 'cuz I'm taking down all the info for all our fabulous prize winners.

*Street walker and her John are stopped to find out he had paid her for her sexual favors with a gas card.

*Shady Lady Ranch - promoting their brothel with free gas for over an hour of "services" at their establishment. Yes! Now you can have sex and get gas.

*Drivers of UPS have been instructed to only make right turns in their trucks. Their research finds that turning right saves gas. Sitting in idle waiting to make a left turn, might as well stay in motion by going right only. Funny that. Yell at the next big brown truck that's waiting to go left!

*Lately people have been topping off their rented U-Haul tanks with water when they return them to the company. Clever. Kinda.

Music & Entertainment:

>COLDPLAY NEWS. Boycott.

>Rise Against - almost done w/ their new album. Considering 'Moonrock' as a title for the album.

>Courney Cox is appearing in 3 episodes of Scrubs. Moving from NBC to ABC. She has blue eyes and dark hair. Hot.

>MGM is remaking Red Dawn of the 1980's... Described on the show as corny and cheesey.

>Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes. Sasha Baron-Cohen and Will Farrell are also going to star in a Sherlock movie in the future... The photo to the left is of Downey Jr. as a black man in Tropic Thunder.
>Noel Gallagher (of Oasis) - we have no intentions of pulling a "Radiohead" where fans can DL songs off a website for free. He didn't spend time in an expensive studio in London to give his music away. "F that."

Sexy Time Fun Facts - Tips to get you laid half of the time with half of the women out there.

Australia:

1/4 women on a reg basis look at porn

1/5 are in their own porn

65% of women jill off at least once a month

Half of the women out there want sex when it's offered.

When did your parents find out you were having sex? Did they beat the "slut" out of you?

• Dad was napping. They were on the sofa, dad walked out and caught her. Called the cops because she had a warrant for her arrest.
• Mom found the condom in their trashcan. Kept it in her pocket
• Fell asleep in the car, nakey. Her parents caught them in the back seat...
• Tony's mom informs him that they weren't all that quiet back in sophomore year
• Woody's dog eated a condom out of the trash?
• When she got pregnant
• Woody's "beat the slut out" story - he was sent to a Desert Camp thing?
• She passed out in bed with her dude, her mom came home drunk, kicked him out, beat her, and dropped her off at the police station.
• Great gramma walked in on them at Christmas time
  

Grade Today's Show: 80.2% A (B for .... uhhhhh. Stupid?)

Just the Headline: "Die hard knitters prepare for sock battle."

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This day was also followed by a political debate with Madden, which ended in him huffing off. I won. woot woot!